Natascha | Therapy for millennials: singles and couples

Therapy Haarlem

It is my passion to guide millennials in the process of becoming aware of blockages within themselves. Due to these blockages, you may feel uncertain about what you want or can achieve, both in love and in your career.

In life, you have to make many choices, and as a result, you often encounter your hidden fears, traumas, survival mechanisms, and/or beliefs. These can hinder you from leading the life you deeply desire.

This makes it essential to discover who you are and what 'stands in your way.' Subsequently, you can enter a positive flow by getting closer to yourself. This allows you to attract the right partners or improve your current relationship.

Without this awareness, it unfortunately often happens that people make choices because 'it's expected,' avoiding confronting their fears and blockages. This can lead to the realization, sometimes years later, that they are in the wrong job or relationship. Unfortunately, change is then not always easy due to obligations or significant consequences it may entail. "Prevention is better than cure" is my motto in this regard. If you learn to make choices from your pure core at a young age, the likelihood of a happy life is greater than if you choose based on what you think you want (but actually don't) or what you believe is expected or necessary.

Independence versus Settling

In this era, we mainly strive for independence, self-development, and are often focused on ourselves. How much time do we have or want to invest in others? The definition of relationships is changing.

There's a lot of casual dating, and we have shorter relationships because we end them when obstacles arise. On the other hand, it's the phase of settling down and thinking about having children.

This often creates tensions in your life, whether you are in a relationship or single. "What do I actually want?" is a question you often ask yourself...

Examples of issues include:

• The relationship is not what I expected.

• I'm missing something essential.

• We argue a lot.

• I don't feel important to him/her.

• I always have to adapt.

• I find it difficult to stay in a relationship where the excitement is fading.

• I (or my partner) don't want a monogamous relationship.

• I cheat or my partner cheats.

• I feel less attracted to my partner.

• I don't know what kind of man or woman suits me.

• Am I heterosexual or bisexual?

• I always fall for women/men who treat me badly or are not in love with me.

• I never fall in love.

• I'm afraid I won't find a partner in time to start a family.

• I'm very jealous.

• I feel lonely.

• I'm afraid my partner will leave me.

• I'm afraid my partner will meet someone he/she likes more.

• I don't find myself attractive (enough).

• I'm afraid I'll never find a romantic partner.

Early Family

Even if you've just become a father or mother, relationship problems often arise. The relationship is no longer the same. Passion often diminishes due to fatigue and the new roles as a father and mother. Additionally, the dynamics have changed because you are no longer just a couple.

Especially in this phase, it's important to continue 'working' on your relationship so that you don't become 'a business' and drift apart. Continuing to invest in your relationship is essential. Through some conversations, you can come closer to each other again and rediscover the joy of being together.

You can start discovering what you truly desire deep within and what aligns with your current life. Especially in this phase of life, it is essential to understand why you don't feel (completely) happy in your relationship or why you haven't found the right partner. Or why you tend to disengage too quickly.

It's better to discover now that the relationship doesn't provide what you need than to end up in a divorce later with children and a mortgage. Or to realize that your fear of commitment or abandonment causes you to disengage too quickly, missing out on a beautiful relationship, or consistently falling for the wrong person, preventing you from building a family that you might later regret.

The most important thing is to search for "the truth." Rumi  said: "Your task is not to seek for love or happiness but merely to seek and find all the barriers you built against it."

Through conversations, reflections, and exercises, you can discover what is truly touched within you, causing you to grapple with this issue. This helps you break through it, enabling you to make choices that genuinely bring you joy and align with who you are and what you truly want.

I would be happy to schedule an appointment with you and/or your partner to explore your/your joint barriers. Subsequently, we can learn to look at yourself and each other in a different way, leading to a happier and more fulfilled life.

I have also specialized in adult Elvis children or Replacement Children. These are children born after the death of a sibling due to a miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, or shortly after birth.